For comforters
Coming to comfort
Three things before you walk in, and a simple way to be there in the weeks and months that follow – when most people have already gone back to routine.
Enter quietly and wait for the mourners to speak. According to custom, one does not greet.
Even a short visit is a comfort. If there is a resting notice on the door, respect it.
"May the Omnipresent comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem."
The full guide for comforters → · Meals coordination board →
Being there after the shiva too
Fill in one name and one date, and get a calendar file with reminders. Each reminder says what is worth doing at that stage, with a ready message to send on WhatsApp. The mourner receives nothing from the site, and the site does not store the details.
Example: what the reminders will say
- Two weeks: Two weeks since the shiva. A good time to ask Daniel whether he would like a short walk.
"Daniel, would you like a half-hour walk this week? I will fit in with whatever time suits you." - The shloshim: Today (or around now) is the shloshim. If there is a visit to the grave, go. If not, mention the name.
"Daniel, today is the shloshim. I remember. If there is anything I can do, I am here." - Two months: Two months. An invitation to something ordinary (coffee, a small gathering) helps people come back to life, with no pressure to attend.
"Daniel, a few of us are meeting for coffee next week. I would love it if you joined, and if it does not suit you, that is completely fine." - 100 days: One hundred days. This is the point where many people feel they are no longer "allowed" to talk about it. Now, of all times, share a memory.
"I was reminded today of [a short memory of the person who died]. I wanted you to know I still think of him and of you."
Questions about support after the shiva
Why is it important to be there after the shiva?
During the shiva the house is full. After the family gets up, most people go back to routine, and that is exactly when the loneliness is felt. A message, a walk or a meal in the weeks and months that follow are sometimes the most meaningful help of all.
Does the mourner receive messages from the site?
No. The reminders go only into your calendar, with a suggested message that you send yourself. The site does not store names or phone numbers.
What if I do not know what to write?
Every reminder includes a short, ready-made suggestion with a WhatsApp link. You can send it as it is or change it.
More tools
Guide for visitors
What to bring, what to say, what to avoid, and how long to stay.
Open →Meals, refreshments & equipment board
A shared sign-up board: who brings a meal, a cake or equipment, and on which day. No duplicates, no site registration.
Open →Day eight
When the house empties: research-based tools for the emptiness and loneliness after shiva.
Open →